Obstacles vs. Goals ~ Rachel

I’ve never been one to date a whole lot.  I had a couple of “boyfriends” in high school and one serious boyfriend in college. There were a couple of other unhealthy “relationships” thrown in the mix as well…I certainly wouldn’t call them boyfriends but they sure did screw with my head! Other than that, I was a single girl. When I got to grad school, I got on the internet dating train. What a ride that was! I corresponded with lots of guys and ended up going on dates with some of them. During the process, I would always dish to my best friend about the guys, saying things like: “I wish he wasn’t _______” or “I can’t stand that he does_______.” I was focusing on the obstacles that stood in the way of finding the man I dreamed of. Focusing on those obstacles only made them bigger. Then one day, without even realizing it, I started telling my best friend about the things that I wanted in a man. In a short matter of time, Dave popped up in Myspace mailbox and the rest is history. Focusing on my goal of love and happiness made it bigger…and real.

I need to adapt that thinking to the rest of my life, particularly with regards to my weight & health, my finances and my dissertation.

Should I focus on the fact that my credit card balances seem impossible to pay down OR should I focus on a zero balance and know that everything I put towards the balances will get me to my goal of being debt-free?

Should I focus on the fact that my dissertation data is a bit messy and that I’m a bit scared to teach myself a new statistical method OR should I focus on the goal of  publishing two or more papers, successfully defending the dissertation and FINALLY being done with school forever (not to mention that Dave won’t marry me until I’m done)?

Should I focus on the fact that I failed to track my food this weekend, ate way too much at Easter dinner yesterday (and now feel sick) and haven’t exercised all week OR should I focus on a scale number that begins with “1” instead of “2”, clothes that I can buy at a “regular ” store and being able to maybe run a 5K one day (or at least walk it…running and me don’t mix for a variety of reasons)?

Well, I think I know the answer to those questions. Focusing on those obstacles is only going to make them bigger and seem more insurmountable. I’m tired of focusing on the fact that I’m drowning in debt, drowning in data and drowning in my own fat. Now is the time to see my goals instead of my obstacles.

“When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress. We cannot take more than one step at a time.”

~Orison Swett Marden

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